“When I was a kid…” doesn’t really work when talking with your kids about cannabis today. It’s a whole new ballgame.
Cannabis—legal or otherwise—is a hot topic. Parents who provide their kids with balanced information about the effects associated with cannabis (often called marijuana) can help them make informed decisions. It’s more important than ever for parents to protect their kids’ health and development by addressing this issue early and often.
Here are some ways you can have a conversation with your teen.
YOUR TEEN SAYS: “I know, I know. You’ve talked with me about this before.”
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| YOU CAN SAY | HERE'S WHY |
“I know we’ve had conversations about drugs before, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’m being a nag.”
| Taking responsibility and acknowledging a teen’s feelings is an effective way to reduce resistance.
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“I want us to be able to discuss topics because I love you and I want to help during these years when you’re faced with a lot of difficult choices.”
| This statement shows compassion for what he is going through.
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| YOUR TEEN SAYS: Nothing |
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YOU CAN SAY
| HERE'S WHY
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“Do kids at your school talk about cannabis? What do they say?”
“Do you know anyone at school who smokes pot? What did she say about it?” “Have you ever been offered cannabis?
| If you find it hard to get your teen to start talking, try asking questions about her friends or classmates. It may be easier for her to open up about someone other than herself. This can lead her to share her thoughts with you. If she doesn’t want to talk, remind her that you’re there for her when she has things on her mind.
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YOUR TEEN SAYS: “I’m only doing it once in a while on weekends, so it’s not a big deal.”
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| YOU CAN SAY | HERE'S WHY |
“I’m happy to hear that this is not something you do on a regular basis. The fact is, using any drug can be harmful at your age because your brain is still developing.”
| Even though a parent may want her teen to be completely abstinent, it is imperative to point out the positive that this is not something that has become a daily habit. This allows the teen to feel like she isn’t a bad person or a disappointment.
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YOUR TEEN SAYS: “Would you rather I drink alcohol? Weed is so much safer.”
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“What is going on in your life that makes you feel like you want to do either?”
| This question can easily throw you off course. If it rattles you, posing a question back to him is a good buffer while you think about your answer. Your response may still be met with “nothing” or another one-word answer, but even the word “nothing” can lead to another supportive statement from you, like “I’m glad to hear there isn’t anything going on in your life that makes you want to drink or smoke, and I also know it’s unrealistic to think that it isn’t going to be offered to you.”
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“Honestly, I don’t want you to be doing anything that can harm you—whether that’s smoking pot or cigarettes, drinking or behaving recklessly. I’m interested in knowing why you think weed is safer than alcohol.”
| Reminding your teen that you care deeply about his health and well-being, and expressing genuine curiosity about his thought process, is going to help him open up.
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YOUR TEEN SAYS: “Marijuana is a plant. It’s natural. How harmful could it be?”
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| YOU CAN SAY | HERE'S WHY |
“Not all plants are necessarily healthy or good for you—think about cocaine or heroin or even poison ivy.”
| This helps your teen rethink her point
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“I understand that, and I am not suggesting that you’re going to spin out of control, or that your life as you know it is going to be over. I would just like to redirect you to the idea that when a person is high, her judgement is not what it ordinarily is and that can be harmful.”
| This statement points out that you are reasonable and are not using scare tactics. It also redirects your teen back to your goal of helping her understand the harmful side effects of cannabis
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“I would much rather you find healthy ways to cope with difficult feelings than turn to drugs. Can we brainstorm activities?”
| Here, you’re showing concern, asking permission and promoting collaboration in thinking through healthy alternatives—like yoga, reading or sports
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YOUR TEEN SAYS: “But it’s going to be legal soon; why would they make something legal that could hurt me?”
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| YOU CAN SAY | HERE'S WHY |
“If marijuana is legalized, it’s going to be legal at a certain age, like alcohol. But let’s explore your question in more detail, because it’s a good one. Why would the government make something legal that could be harmful?”
| Letting your teen know that this is a valid question is important to his being receptive to your answer. Expressing curiosity with an open-ended question keeps the conversation going.
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“Let’s look at alcohol; it’s legal, but causes damage, including DUIs, car accidents and other behaviour that leads to jail time.
Alcohol can also cause major health problems, including liver problems.”
Cigarettes are also legal, even though they are highly addictive and proven to cause birth defects and cancer. Just because something is legal and regulated doesn’t make it safe or mean it isn’t harmful.”
| Alcohol is a great example of a regulated substance having severely harmful side effects, so are cigarettes.
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YOUR TEEN SAYS: “Come on. I only did it once, and I’m totally fine.”
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| YOU CAN SAY | HERE'S WHY |
“Will you tell me about your experience? I’m genuinely curious to know what it was like for you. How did it make you feel?”
| This is an example of an open-ended question that helps you uncover what he may or may not have liked about getting high.
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YOUR TEEN SAYS: “I don’t know what to say when other kids ask me to use.”
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| YOU CAN SAY | HERE'S WHY |
“Let’s think of some ways that you can turn down the offer that you would be comfortable saying.”
| Instead of telling her what to say or do when she is put in an uncomfortable situation, why not ask her? Brainstorming with your teen on how she may get out of a sticky situation will be more effective than telling her.
Help your teen think of ways to turn down offers for her own reasons, like “I’m not into that,” or “I have a big game tomorrow and don’t want to be groggy.”
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Drug Free Kids Canada wants to educate, inspire and support parents to prevent substance abuse by youth. Our website, drugfreekidscanada.org provides families with the information parents need to understand the ever-changing drug landscape.
To see this "Talk Kit" in it's entirety, visit the website.
